Life's a Box of Suppositories

Breaking News….

Irish Times… A sexually frustrated alpha-male bull elephant escaped from Dublin Zoo today and went on the rampage in search of a suitable mating partner. It is believed that the animal which had been held in a separate cage from the other elephants due to its rather belligerent nature, hadn’t had a sexual encounter with another elephant since its capture on the Serengeti plain 11 years ago. However, this was of little consolation to the Claferty family who were waiting at the traffic lights on their way to the Iveagh Gardens for their Sunday picnic, when the 10,000 kilo beast decided their Nissan Micra was as close a match to a female elephant that he was likely to encounter on the junction just off Thomas Street. Zoo officials and a number of gardi ran to the scene, however the ordeal was over in a matter of seconds, as the Claferty family hadn’t even time to exit their vehicle when 11 years of frustration was unleashed through the rear window. Thankfully no one was hurt in this rather bizarre turn of events, even the elephant, nicknamed ‘Durk’ was quite content to be led back to his cage at Dublin Zoo (without administering a tranquilizer.)

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